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As wedding planners, LifEvents is often asked “what if…”  Obviously, hiring a great wedding planner will help a lot of those ‘what ifs’ go by the wayside, but we thought we’d try to answer some of them for you in this week’s article.  We know how stressful planning and producing a gathering of this magnitude can be when you’re not used to planning large parties, when you have a job, and you have a life that you’re busy with.  That’s why we’re here to help you through not only the planning, but the transition from being single to being married. 
So let’s get going on our top 5 What Ifs…
1.  What If A Vendor Doesn’t Show?
First and foremost, stay calm!  A frazzled brain will do you no good.  Take a breath, find your phone and call the vendor.  We always prepare a a list of all your vendors w/their telephone numbers and cell phone numbers so it is handy the day of your wedding.  For your own peace of mind, you may also want to have a list of back-ups (wedding planners do) just in case.  If after the telephone calls, you are still unable to locate said vendor, a DJ for example, think outside the box, and get your venue, wedding party, family and friends to help you – iPod hooked into the venue’s speaker system will work in a pinch.  It is unlikely that a major vendor such as your DJ would not show at all, but ‘what if’ they get caught in some crazy 5 hour stand-still traffic and are unable to send someone else in their place to get to your wedding faster?  See how unlikely it is?  Nothing to lose sleep over, but always good to be overly prepared.  While you would no doubt be angry, try to focus on what the day is all about – you are getting married and your friends and family are there to support you, so keep your eye on the prize and don’t worry about the rest.  You’ll have a good story to tell later and when you get that weird interview question, “Can you give an example of how you reacted well under pressure?”  You’ll have a great answer:)  Okay, not so funny.
2.  What if I don’t want to wear white?
Did you know that wearing white to your wedding day isn’t as old a tradition as some might think?  Well, okay 1840 and Queen Victoria are pretty old.  However, when WWI hit, dresses started to change.  Coco Chanel introduced short hemmed wedding dresses in 1920 and by the time the Great Depression hit, brides made do with their best dress (sometimes white, but sometimes not).  As we all know, LifEvents loves to shun the ‘rules’ if it fits with who you are.  We love the concept of tradition, but not if it isn’t you.  So, the answer to this ‘what if’ is really quite simple, wear what makes you feel the most comfortable, what speaks to you and is a reflection of who you are and what makes you feel beautiful.  Every bride should feel beautiful on her wedding day and if you hate how you look in white then you shouldn’t force yourself to try to like it.
3.  What if my guests don’t RSVP?
If you’re wondering whether you should call those guests who haven’t responded, or just assume they are not going to come, I will direct you to the old adage about assuming…Oh, c’mon you know it, “when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me”.  You never know the situation.  Perhaps the guest had been waiting to hear back from their babysitter and then mis-placed the response card.  If you feel uncomfortable calling, ask your wedding planner or a friend who can say that they’re in charge of the headcount and they are just calling to confirm that the guest will be attending.
4.  What if we already live together and we don’t need items that are on a traditional registry?
When LifEvents get this question, we offer a few suggestions.  First, just because you’ve been living together for awhile and have everything you think you need, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a shower or a registry.  In life, there are always things we want and nowadays registries aren’t limited to the traditional registries of days past.  Honeymoon registries are getting ever more popular.  We used for our wedding and it was fun for everyone.  We found some great pictures, fun descriptions and came back from our honeymoon with pictures to give to the giver of some of the great places we were able to go because of the gift.  For one person, it was very personal.  She had an amazing experience when she went to Pompeii and was so excited that she was able to share that with us by buying our ‘entrance fee’.  Additionally, the person who throws your shower for you could do a themed shower.  If you’re having a Tuscan wedding, or you love wine, or enjoy a certain sport together, the shower could revolve around your interests as a couple rather than having to outfit your home.
5.  What if our ceremony site is too small for the number of guests we want to invite?
So, there’s this very popular location to get married in San Diego on a cliff overlooking the ocean.  The only problem?  The City only allows up to 50 people and the site can really only squeeze in 75.  If you have a guest list of 120 and your site can only accommodate 75, you have three options.  One, change the ceremony location.  You say, “But, that is THE spot, we must get married at that site”.  Okay, second option, you can pare down your guest.  But, what if you absolutely cannot pare it down and can’t bear to have your ceremony anywhere else?  Option three, it is perfectly acceptable to invite only immediate family and friends to the ceremony and the remaining guests to the reception.  The only caveat is that you will have to prepare separate invitations.  The invitation to the guests invited to the reception can be worded something like this:
[Wife’s first name] and [Husband’s first name] [Married last name]
request the honor of your presence
at the celebration of their marriage
Saturday, the 15th of August
at seven o’clock in the evening
ABC Hotel, Diamond Ballroom
San Diego, California
We hope that we’ve been able to answer some of your ‘what ifs’, but if you find that you’re struggling with a lot of these types of questions, remember that we’re here to help you.
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