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Everyone tells you that your life will change more than it ever has before once you have children.  As parents, we spend a lot of time with our children having fun and yet looking forward to those few solitary moments to have to ourselves.  Of course, we spend most of those solitary moments preparing for the next few hours by doing dishes, laundry, making dinner and maybe, just maybe taking a moment to sit in silence and close our eyes for 5 minutes.

I am constantly reminding myself to live in the moment and appreciate each second I have with my son.  However, I am human and I do long for time to myself, regardless of how guiltily I feel that longing.  Intellectually, I understand the benefit of giving something to myself – that taking care of me will make me a better Mom to our son.  Also regardless of the guilt I feel, I am insistent that I follow-through and take the time for me. 

However, in moments of quietude while I watch my son learning all about independent play, I realize how much he’s grown.  Not long ago I longed for the time he could play on his own and now it is here.  How I feel about this is an equal amount of excitement and melancholy.  With each milestone, he is growing into the man he will someday become.  I imagine dancing at his wedding and wondering at the the mass of emotions I will likely feel.  This thought brings me to another guilty question, “What is the thing from my life before kids that I most look forward to having again once our son is grown and out of the house?”  Will it be no more time-outs (long gone by then anyway); the stress and worry of wondering where he is so late at night (although I’ve heard this worry never goes away); or will it be the simple pleasure of going pee uninterrupted (although I’m sure my husband will take over that duty and still knock on the bathroom door to ask if we’re out of milk rather than look in the fridge himself); or will it be the ability to go out to dinner without a second thought of babysitters and major planning?  It’s anyone’s guess really.

I try to live in the moment now knowing how badly I will miss his presence in our home.  Soon the pitter patter of his feet will turn to clomping through and out of our home.  And so, what I always come to realize in these moments of guilty thoughts, is that my life will never return to the same routine of pre-kid days.  And for that, I am thankful and excited for the future that our present life is creating.

But really, how about you?  What is it that you most look forward to doing again once your children are grown and out of the house?

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One Response to “{Kids} Guilty Pleasures – Nap Time & Independent Play”

  1. sharon says:

    I cry happy tears as I read this, you are such a good writer, because you write form the heart, and a great parent, because you do the same.
    You have brought me back to many happy moments and moments I continue to have! As an empty nester, I know this for sure, the joy never leaves you.
    Mom

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