To start, we don’t own guns, although I have in the past (pre-child). For a very long time, we were able to avoid watching anything with guns or blowing up or any other violent shows. We had never bought any toy guns. Then, one day, our son’s entire vocabulary and imaginary play consisted of Batman, Spiderman, Ironman, Buzz Lightyear, Star Wars. We don’t know exactly where it came from. His daycare is super anti-gun. I once read an article about how boys will eventually make a gun out of anything – even a sandwich. This stressed me out and yet at the same time, made me feel slightly better as I watched my son running around the house “shooting” or “swordfighting” with a stick.
I grew up in a house with guns and my Dad taught me how to use them, respect them and he kept them locked up tight – separate from the locked cabinet of bullets. I am not afraid of them nor am I opposed to the respectful use of them (i.e., target ranges). I am afraid of society’s need for violence (or its advocacy for violence over sex – not that we should have to choose) and therefore it being perpetuated wherever we turn. You don’t realize this extreme until you have children trust me.
Yes, I grew up watching Bugs Bunny and all those other cartoons that were FILLED with gun toting bunnies, Fud, ducks, etc. and I turned out “fine” (I hate that consolotion by the way – humans can withstand a lot and turnout fine, but that doesn’t make it right). What’s worse is these cartoon characters can get blown up, shake it off and walk away. As an adult, this stresses me out. If/when my son sees something like this, I want to explain to my son this is not how it works. But, that’s a whole other can of worms to explain what really happens when someone is shot or blown up – what is death, will I die, will you die, where do we go when we die? And, the questions would go on and on. Ultimately, not sure a 3 year old (let alone me) is ready for that kind of conversation.
So, last night my son taught me a lesson in the differences of kids vs. adults. I figure, in order to teach, I must know what’s going on his head. Here’s how the conversation went (we were building with Legos):
Me: What are you building?
K: I’m building a gun.
Me: Do you mean a laser? (it’s the best compromise we found right now)
K: No, a gun!
Me: Oh, what will the gun do?
K: It will go “bam bam bam”
Me: Oh, what does that mean?
K: um, it means it will shoot.
Me: Oh, what happens when it shoots?
K: ummmm, it will shoot the bad guys.
Me: Oh, what happens to the bad guys when it shoots them?
K: um, they’ll get yucky. (okay, now I’m a little scared)
Me: um, how will they get yucky?
K: They’ll get chicken nuggets and peanut butter all over them and I’ll save Batman.
Yup, you read right – shooting a bad guy will get chicken nuggets and peanut butter all over them, so they’ll be yucky and it will save Batman.
So, while I’ll still cringe on the playground as my son pretends to shoot his “gun” (not allowed to shoot people or animals by the way – despite bad guys being shot with chicken nuggets and peanut butter), at least I know that the concept of a gun is still not manifested into the reality of aggression or hurting. To my son, a gun is no different from a car, or a stick, or a laser – it’s a word and to him it means it’s something funny that shoots chicken nuggets and peanut butter. I can still leave the more serious topic of what guns really do to when he’s a bit older – whew!
What are your thoughts? This is a touchy, highly charged topic among parents today. I find myself on both sides of the fence quite often and only hope that I can teach my son to absolutely respect life in all of its forms and eventually explain to him the atrocities a person who doesn’t respect the power of a gun may cause.
lifevents
